Tuesday, November 8

Relationships

Ok, so the following post/story is my voice on Lucia's blog post (in blue below). I posted it on my other blog Walk With God first, and forgot to post it over here. So here you go. :)


A story to share about relationships

Relationships.
If you think about it, they're way different than what they used to be in two centuries ago. Relationships are part of history, life, and for some an everyday thought. The following story is from Lucia's blog Umbrella Girl

standing out // my story.

   

"Are your parents, like, really strict or something?"
We were sitting in a booth at Ixtapa, waiting for our orders to arrive. Laughter and chatter were audible all about us; the sounds of giddy excitement over our Cross Country Districts championship. I sipped my water slowly and gazed at Melissa,* who continued not rudely, but with a genuine curiosity.
"I mean, if you really really wanted to have a boyfriend, would they let you?"
It is somewhat known on my Cross Country team that I don't date, don't own a phone for texting, etc. Now, waiting for my food with four of my teammate girlfriends, we had been talking about relationships and how quickly they can end. I was a little taken aback at the question, but I tried to gather my thoughts and answer in a clear and logical way.

"I wouldn't say they are strict..at least, in my standards," I began, twisting my napkin a little nervously. "And yes, I think if I wanted to have a "boyfriend" they would allow me to. But I would need to be old enough, and he would need to meet their standards."
I let out a breath. Whew. That was going to shock them.
It did. I tried to clarify a little.
"Uh...see, I'm sorta trying to save myself for one person. Like, it's kinda hard to explain, but--I don't want to give my heart to tons of different guys, only to see them all disappear for one reason or another. I mean, it doesn't really make sense. Why not just wait for the one guy, and have everything saved up already for him?"
"So," my friend Carli joined the conversation. "..You're saying you're going to wait to date until you find the guy you're actually going to marry?"
I nodded. "Yup. Pretty much." I didn't bother explaining the courtship process; I knew that would be digging a little too deep for this conversation. "I mean, Carli, now that you've been dating Seth for three years and things seem to be pretty serious, do you ever regret dating all of those people before him? Do you wish you had saved it all for Seth?"
Carli laughed a little. "Uhh...I dunno. It doesn't really matter to me."
Maya looked up from her menu, across the table. "I think dating a lot of guys has given me more insight then I would have had without them. How else would I know which type of guy I really like, and which I don't? For me, dating alot helps me to "try out" everyone and see who I am really best with. You know?"
I bit back a long comment, and instead just shrugged. "Well, all I know is, I haven't met a single guy yet whom I would consider 'dating,' if I were into that."
Melissa jutted back in with, "Well, obviously since you're homeschooled, you wouldn't know many people."
I choked a little on my water, but still managed a light laugh. "Uh, you'd be surprised! I know a ton of guys, actually. And there are quite a few that I admire and think of as brothers, but..relationship-wise? Nada."

The conversation ended as our food arrived, but I sat silent for a moment while the other girls moved on in their chatter, thinking. I felt like I'd just been through a brain exercise, and I realized it was because for the first time in my life, I'd actually had to explain to someone oblivious and of a different mindset what my convictions were regarding relationships. It felt good, and healthy. I gave a silent prayer of thanks to my Lord for helping me to be kind, gentle and un-judgemental.
I need to do this more often. :]

Have your beliefs/convictions ever been challenged, or simply questioned?
 
* all names have been changed. 
 














2 comments:

  1. Anonymous11/09/2011

    Interesting. I dont agree with it, but I understand why you and other people chose to go that way. But there is the point of getting expeience and understanding the way a guy's mind works. Sure you can argue with the "why give your heart when it's just going to get broken?" statement, but then again what's the real harm? You cant forget about the whole be younge and make mistakes because you dont get that option when your older. I'm just saying, dont shut our your options so early, you may find that the 'one' your looking for, is tired of waiting.

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  2. Okay, I have to comment! Haha, I can't wait to date and have a boyfriend, but I do know I'm only 15... which seems pointless. Chances of me meeting a long time relationship at this age are slim, and just personally (although anxious) I wanna wait until I'm maybe 17. I wanna be emotionally mature, but also... I'm still a big kid! Really, I'm sorta immature at times and I don't think that's a good time to have a boyfriend.
    I can't wait and we haven't established a rule in my house about dating (probably because I'm the oldest and I haven't talked about it yet), but, it's a personal choice.
    I don't know if I'm waiting for the "right guy" or "guy I'm going to marry", because honestly I wanna see what my options are, not just date one guy and be like "Yep he's definitely the one"! Wow, that was long. To summarize... I'm personally waiting to date a few more years (the idea of courtship is little scary to me) and when I am ready I'll look and see and maybe I'll find the guy, but maybe I'll date a few guys first.

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